


Ping An

by AwesomeEyeroll



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Bit of a laugh, Challenge fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 13:36:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17447984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeEyeroll/pseuds/AwesomeEyeroll
Summary: This was written quite some time ago for an 'Animals of Outlander' fic challenge which then never came off. I discovered it and a couple others in my files and decided now was as good a time as any to put them on here.This is a one shot set during the voyage from Scotland to Jamaica during Voyager and is as canon compliant as you can expect from a story written form the POV of a pelican.





	Ping An

They’re at it again. Sloping off behind the forecastle. The Ginger fella and the woman with the hair that looks like my nest did before I ended up here. There I was, minding my own business, when the storm came in and the next thing I know that little fella has me in a headlock and the red haired man has him in one and we’re all thrashing around in the sea whilst a bloody shark swims around. A shark! And whilst I suppose the ship is a better bet than taking my chances on the high seas, these people…

I see a lot, sitting here amongst the sails. I watch. Mostly all there is to see is Big Ginge and Nest Head dry humping behind crates and the one with the hook and the golden haired girl sloping out of the hold adjusting their clothes. Absolutely no self control these people. 

Look at them there, he’s going to lose his hand down the front of her dress if he’s not careful. And as for where her hands are, well, that little shriek he just gave was a few octaves higher than normal that’s for sure.

He did not! He did not just bend her over the barrel and lift her skirts? Does he not know that anyone could be watching? They’re worse than animals this pair. At least the other two keep it below decks. I thought I’d seen it all living on the docks in Port Royal, what with the pirates and the whores and what not, but these two. They NEVER stop. You’d think they’d not seen in other in years.

Ha. Someone is coming. It's Goldilocks. That will have those skirts back down where they belong in pretty short order. She seems to have some kind of relationship with Big Ginge, but the looks she gives Nest Head. I’d love to know that story. 

Oh and now the screaming has started. Goldilocks screams at Big Ginge and Nest Head a lot. Something about her mother usually. She calls Big Ginge ‘Da’ but the calls the woman ‘That hoor’. Hey up, here comes Captain Hook. Thank God, he can usually talk Goldilocks down. She’s just so loud. I’d hate to be in confined space with her. Old Hook doesn’t seem to mind though judging by the amount of time they spend in the hold…

What’s that now? That looks awfully like a Man of War to me, I know all about them from the docks. It looks a lot nicer than this glorified bucket. 

Oh dear, it seems they have taken Nest Head. Big Ginge has just kicked a hole in the galley door. Wait, what? He’s just jumped overboard and is swimming after it. Why does he keep jumping into the water after people? At least now they’ll be disturbing someone else with their moaning and panting. I think I’ll go fishing. All this excitement has made me hungry.


End file.
